Why me?
by SkylarkPrincess18
Summary: An experiment about love. They can t feel. Especially not love. But does that mean they can t develope feelings for each other? An experiment might be the right thing to get clear. XemSai story. M for later chapters.
1. Start

**Chapter 1**

The door opened quietly as a slender blue haired man entered the room. A huge contrast to the white and clean walls and a pleasant sight to the person that waited.

"I am sorry for being late, superior, but I got the latest report from Agrabah." The male explained, as he walked to the desk and passed his clip board over. "I´ve written down everything that happened. If you have any questions, I´ll try to get more information."

His superior gave him a slight smile, as he took the reports.  
"Thank you, Number VII." He said, but didn´t even bother to look into the report.

Saix gave him a short nod. "Do you need my help with anything? Otherwise I´ll leave."

"Do you have any missions left?" Xemnas asked with a questioning look.

Now his subordinate shook his head. "Not really, but I wanted to take a look into the current status of Atlantica."

Amber eyes watched him with an intense look. "I guess Atlantica will have to wait. Stay with me for now."

Saix gave his superior a questioning look. "Do you have anything for me to do?"

"Are you questioning me?" Xemnas voice made sure, that this wasn't an option, but rather an order and his subordinate gave a short sigh before he walked around the desk to check what he would be used for.

"I'd be glad if you sorted out all of my reports." Xemnas said while leaning back.

"All of them?!" Saix wondered. "But …"

"All of them." Answered Xemnas without giving him a choice to complain.

His subordinate hesitated and watched the papers on the desk. He seemed to be unsure about what he should do.

"Just start."

Xemnas voice ripped him out of his thoughts, but he didn´t complain. Instead he leaned over and started to get a general view of all the stuff his superior gathered on his desk. It was a lot. And it was chaotic. But he kept his thoughts to himself as he sorted the papers and tried to get a system into the mess. He didn't even notice that Xemnas was still there, but didn't bother to help him.

He was about to finish, as he suddenly felt a pull from behind, stumbled and found himself on his superiors lap. In this moment he realized that said man hadn't moved a tiny bit since he started with his work.

"Oh, are you tired, Number VII?" Xemnas asked with a smirk and the sparkle in his amber eyes told Saix that this hadn't been an accident. But he didn't really care, embarrassment was a feeling he couldn't really remember. And he knew it wasn't intelligent to discuss with the other man.

"I am sorry, superior. I must have stumbled." He answered and tried to get up again. Not intending to play whatever Xemnas had in mind. But the other wouldn't let him get away that easily. His arms wrapped about the smaller mans waist, keeping him firmly in place. "Superior?"

"Are you feeling uneasy, Number VII?" He was way to close.

"Since you know that we can't feel anything … do I really have to answer?"

Xemnas seemed to think for a moment. "Have you ever tried?"

"Tried?"

"To feel."

Now Saix turned around with an irritated look. "What do you mean?"

"Since you became a nobody, have you ever tried to feel?" The silver haired explained.

"It's impossible."

"I asked if you tried. Now give me an answer."

Saix kept quiet for a moment. "I never tried."

"Would you like to try?"

Another minute a silence.

"Yes."

Xemnas gave a pleasant laugh.

"Then I'll gladly be your partner in this little experiment."

"So, what is this experiment about?" Saix still kept his golden eyes on his superior. Golden eyes meeting amber eyes and suddenly long fingers twirling streaks of silky blue hair.

So close. They were so close and Xemnas got even closer as he conquered the distance between their faces and lips met another pair of lips. For a moment the man was afraid that his subordinate would pull away, punch him or try to break the kiss. But he didn't. He just stayed the way he was. Obviously not sure what to do. An encouragement. Xemnas stopped twirling the blue hair but instead his hand wandered to the others neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. And finally Saix reacted. Not pulling away, not punching him, but instead he returned the kiss. Slowly, but he did. Tasting the flavor of his superiors lips. While he was still trying to get a feeling for the kiss Xemnas decided this was not enough. His free hand wandered down the other mans side and he let it rest on the smallers thigh, using the moment of distraction to deepen the kiss and invading the others mouth with his tongue. A small battle for dominance that ended with Saix defeat and so he gave all of it into his superiors hands. Or more … his mouth. His tongue exploring all of his mouth while Saix tried to get support from holding onto the other mans shoulders. The heat intensified until they needed to breath.

As Xemnas broke away both breathed heavily. His hand wandered to his subordinates cheek.

"Now. Did you feel anything?"

Saix blinked and needed a moment to get that this required an answer. "I … am not sure."

"What a disappointment."

"I am sorry, superior." Saix averted his eye.

Xemnas watched the other carefully. "There is no need to be sorry. The experiment is still going to continue. If you are willing to?"

"What … will happen?" For a moment Xemnas was sure that he was somewhat shy.

A simple answer. "We will try out whatever is needed to get to feel, while we are still working on Kingdom Hearts."

"Yes." Saix said while he got up from the others lap. "I will take my leave for now, superior."

"We will meet up again soon."

Saix gave a nod and walked over to the door. Then he hesitated.

"Superior, why me?"

A light chuckle. "Because you are my most loyal and trusted member of course … and you are the most appealing one."

* * *

So this is Chapter 1.

I´ll try to write them without having too much feelings, but I like those two together. I will continue soon :)

Btw english is not my mothertongue, so sorry for mistakes.

Tell me what you think!


	2. Meet me

**Chapter 2**

It has been a week now. A week since their first kiss and the start of their experiment. And it had been a stressful week. Some of their plans hadn´t worked out well and the keyblade wielder got them some trouble, so there hadn´t been time to continue their experiment. It was as if nothing had happened and Saix wasn´t courageous enough to confront his superior. Because even though he pretended that he didn´t care it, he actually cared a lot. He got moody and short tempered and once the others noticed his strange behavior they tried to avoid him. Some had tried to make fun of him but they stopped soon after, leaving him in an even worse mood.

But even in this situation he did his job. Sending their comrades to their missions, gathering the reports, handing them over to Xemnas and doing some missions himself. He had the strong need to fight, to hurt and kill and so he had picked out a mission for himself. Something where he could take down some heartless to replace them with nobodies instead. It was perfect.

Once everyone else had left he was about to return the clip board to his room. He wouldn´t need the descripting of his mission and of course he didn´t want to take it along. Suddenly the absolute silence of the castle-that-never-was was interrupted by a voice.

"Number VII!"

Saix turned around facing his superior. The only other person or better nobody left inside of the castle. For the last week they hadn´t been alone for a moment but now that everyone was out on their missions - they were.

"Superior. Is something the matter?" Saix asked. Trying to stay calm and giving his superior the required respect.

"Where are you going?" Xemnas came closer, giving him a questioning look.

"I thought I should go on a mission myself. There is a lot to do and …"

A sigh.

Saix was confused. "Is something wrong, superior?"

"I thought we could continue our experiment." He simply replied.

Saix lowered the clip board he used for his missions. "Should I … postpone the mission?"

Xemnas shook his head. "No. It´s alright."

"Are you really sure? I think the mission can wait and …"

"No. You are doing your mission, Number VII."

Now Saix was the one to sigh. "I understand."

For a moment they were just standing there. Amber eyes looking into golden ones. None of them wanting to break that moment.  
Xemnas was the one that moved first. He came closer, wrapping an arm around the others slender waist and pulling him into a hungry kiss. Saix hesitated only for a second before he joined the kiss. They were alone, no need to think about what the others would think. It was nothing more than a continuation of their experiment. Science.  
He gave a low sigh as the kiss intensified and Xemnas pulled him closer. Their bodys only separated by their clothing. Saix hands wandered over his superiors shoulders and into his silver hair, searching for support and finally pulling the superior into an even deeper kiss. At the same time one of Xemnas hands wandered into Number VIIs neck while the other wandered lower. Caressing his side and hip making sure Saix would feel it through the fabric of his coat. Another pleasured sigh the shorter man tried to suppress by kissing him more eagerly. While his hand was roaming over the others body he used the distraction to slide his tongue into the others mouth. Another battle for dominance. Another battle Saix lost but he didn´t care. Instead he melted into the others hands and kiss and the feeling … was this a feeling? He wasn´t sure. Was it the memory of feeling?

As they broke their kiss both of them were breathing heavily. Staying close to each other. Trying to calm down. Xemnas caressed his subordinates cheek, his fingers drawing small patterns on the pale skin and Saix leaned into it. Xemnas thumb softly stroking the lips he had kissed so eagerly and he felt the shiver that went through the smallers body. His amber eyes looking into the golden eyes of his subordinate. It was hard to look away but he did. He leaned closer, placing a kiss on Saix neck, then his ear.

"Be careful on your mission. And once you are back, immediately report to me." Xemnas whispered into his ear. Planting another kiss before pulling away.

"Of course." Saix replied hoarsely.

* * *

A short chapter, but they are on their way ;)

Thanks in advance for all kind of reviews, questions or wishes!


	3. Next level

**Chapter 3**

He returned soon but had suffered some bruises. Too many things were on his mind. Most of them about his superior. About their kiss. It was almost as if he had feelings. A feeling of curiosity, of need, of wanting to be where his superior was. A feeling to serve, to kiss, to stay together. Did wishes count as feelings? Did desires count? Was it plain memory? Or was it just conditioning he adapted in his life as a human and still followed? It was weird. He knew they couldn´t feel and it confused him, which made him even more irritated. He needed to talk to Xemnas and he wanted to hear his voice. He thought about his order. About every word he had said. _Report immediately_. Yes, he would report immediately.

He did neither treat his wounds nor did he return to his room. Instead he immediately walked to the superiors office. Knocking against the door but entering without a wait. Xemnas was there. Waiting. And as he recognized Saix he got up from his seat and quickly walked over.

"I am back, superior." Saix stated unnecessarily as he closed the door behind him. "I´ve got your report."

"That can wait." Xemnas replied plainly as he pulled the other in another kiss. This seemed to get a habit of his. But Saix didn´t mind. He simply replied the kiss and enjoyed the feel of his superiors hair in his hands. Said man pushed closer and pressed his subordinate against the wall next to the door. He broke the kiss and watched him.

"I thought you´d come back sooner." He whispered. "And you are even bruised." The long fingers brushed over the few wounds Saix had taken.

"It´s nothing serious."

"It´s serious that some minor heartless were able to hurt you." His superior mumbled as he started to kiss his neck. His hands caressing Saix sides. "You are my second-in-command. It suits you badly."

"In that case – I am sorry." Saix said while giving a low moan.

"Maybe it´s about time we take our experiment to a higher level. What do you think, Number VII?" Even though this was a question Xemnas was already unzipping his coat.

"I agree with that." Saix mumbled while pulling his superior into another kiss. Only taking his hands away as Xemnas pushed the coat over his shoulders, caressing the pale skin instead.

In an attempt to do the same Saix reached out for the other ones zipper, trying to open the black coat but failing halfway through. It needed some help from Xemnas himself to open the zipper and push down the coat. But then the coat was gone and Saix finally able to touch the broad tanned shoulders. It was a nice feeling and he started to explore. His fingers brushing over the muscles, his chest, shoulders and arms and Xemnas gave him all the time he wanted.

It was getting harder as the superior started to explore his body. The feeling of his slender fingers running over the bare skin, his sides, his chest, his back. He was getting hotter with each second and the same seemed to be true for Xemnas. His touches were getting more intensive and his kisses more rushed. He was pressing closer, pinning Saix against the wall. His hands found their way down to the smallers legs and he suddenly lifted him from the ground and pressed him against the wall. Saix immediately wrapped his legs around his superiors waist, moaning at the closeness of their bodies. Both were clearly aroused and ready for more. Saix hands tangling in the other mans hair, pulling him closer as Xemnas pushed closer against his body. Feeling the others arousel. He left it to Saix to stay in the air, while he opened the smallers trousers. Sadly he had to put him back on the ground for a moment to push down the clothing, stripping him of the last fabric.

Meanwhile Saix was opening his trousers to do the same before he was lifted from the ground again. Another hungry kiss before the broke again. Xemnas fingers brushing over hot lips.

"Suck them for me." He said hoarsely and obediently Saix took the fingers into his mouth. Eager to continue.

_Knock Knock. _

Both of the froze at that moment. An almost shocked motion on their faces. Both of them stayed silent. Hoping the intruder would walk away if he wasn´t answered.

"Superior? I´ll come in if you won´t answer."

Xigbars voice.

Now Saix was almost panicking. There was no way Number II would simply leave. He´d either wait or walk in. And if he´d walk in … Saix didn´t even want to think about it and obviously Xemnas thought the same.

In an instant he was back on the ground.

"We´ll continue this later. Wait in your room." Xemnas whispered as he tried to fix his appearance and put on his cloak.

"I´ll count on three superior. One."

Xemnas cursed as he put on his cloak, trying to close the zipper while Saix tried to get his hair in order.

"Two."

They took Saix clothing and Xemnas was opening a portal to his own chambers. A short goodbye kiss.

"Three."

The portal closed and a second later the door opened.

"What is it, Number II?" Xemnas angrily said.

But Xigbar couldn´t understand.

* * *

Xigbar is rude enough.

Had fun reading? Next chapter is already finished.


	4. Retry

**Chapter 4**

Saix went through the portal. He was still naked and shivering. He had been so close … why did Xigbar return in that moment? It was unfair.

He groaled, throwing his clothes on his bed and trying to calm down. His body was still hot and needy but he was denied what he wanted and he wasn't sure if Xemnas would follow later or when this later would be. In frustration he let himself fall back onto the bed but immediately got up again. He needed a shower. A cold shower.

The shower helped to cool down. Even though he would´ve preferred to stay at his superiors side. He felt frustrated, even more than the last week were they hadn´t had a chance to be alone. Once he had finished he walked back into his room, put on his trousers and just as he was about to sit down, a portal opened inside of his room. Something no one would have dared to … except one person.

"Superior." Saix hushed as he got back up.

Xemnas was walking out of the portal. He didn´t seemed too pleased and Saix didn´t get another chance to talk instead his superior pushed him down onto the bed, climbed over him and kissed him hungrily. His hands roaming the pale body and rapidly freeing them of their clothes. Now they were finally back to the status they were interrupted in earlier.

"Let´s try again." Xemnas mumbled as he kissed the others neck and brushed his fingers over the smallers lips. He took them into his mouth without hesitation. Licking them and slightly sucking. Amber eyes watching him with a pleased look. As Saix noticed his look he replied it while continuing to lick his fingers. Xemnas didn't last long, instead he replaced his fingers with his mouth while his hand wandered lower. As he started to prepare him the blue haired man broke the kiss as he gave a muffled moan. He reached for support on to the broad shoulders trying to adjust to this new and weird feeling. The superior nuzzled his face into the others neck, giving a kiss on the pointy ears.

"Relax." He ordered the other and Saix tried to do as he was told. Inhaling deeply.

Slowly Xemnas started to move his finger, sliding it in and out, attentively watching the other. His eyes were closed and his facial expression was stern.

"Don´t think about it. Just relax." Xemnas said again, adding another finger trying to widen the other. Preparing him for more. It was harder than he had thought and it took him some time to gain a pleasured moan out of the smaller. But as he did he continued. Prepared him thoroughly and finally pulled out his fingers.

Saix eyes opened again and there was a hungry flickering in his eyes. He didn´t have to say anything. Xemnas knew what to do. Spreading the others legs even more before settling himself in the right position. Then he carefully entered him, a moan escaped his mouth as he felt the tightness. He wasn´t sure if Saix moan was of pain or pleasure so he gave him an excusing kiss while he waited for him to adjust.

"Are you alright?" he whispered, trying to keep calm and prevent himself from giving into his lust.

"Yes." Saix mumbled. "Please … move."

And so he did. Pulling out and carefully pushing in. Taking it slow and observing his subordinates reactions. But the pleasure grew with every moment and soon Saix was cling to him. Slender legs wrapped around his waist, fingers pressing into his shoulders. Moans of pleasure escaping his mouth.

Enough for Xemnas to move faster. Giving himself over to what might be feelings. The want to gain more of those delicious moans and more of the pleasure. Pleasure for both of them.

His hands wandered to the others hip, keeping him in place as he moved faster. Saix tried to keep up with his rhythm, moving against him and making the feeling even more pleasurable.

He was close and he was sure Saix felt the same. But he wanted them to get to this point together. So he was holding out, trying to get the other to his climax.

Saix came with a pleasured moan, clinging even more to the larger body on top, and as Xemnas felt the body tensing and releasing he let go and came himself. Satisfied with the knowledge of coming inside of his lover. His lover. It felt weird but wasn´t this what they were? Lovers? Even if they weren´t able to feel love, this was as close as they could get.

For a moment he stayed still. Tried to calm down. Kissed his lover. Then he pulled back, a low sigh escaped the others mouth.

"Superior…" Saix mumbled. Trying to get some more of the comfortable warmth.

"Once we are alone, call me Xemnas."

"Xemnas," the word sounded strangely weird, "let´s continue to work on this experiment."

* * *

Now that's done. But I might continue anyway. :)


End file.
